Thank Heavenly God the Olympics Are Dead

 

Monkey Man Douche

Monkey Man Douche

 

 

 

Well the Olympics are finally over and I for one am over-fucking-joyed.  If I had to listen to one more news cast about perseverance, overcoming obstacles and team work I would have blown my stack.

Why isn’t there an intelligence Olympics?  The Olympics are an affront to everyone with an IQ of 100 or higher.  Imagine you spend your days researching cures for cancer, then you turn on the tv and see that monkey faced motherfucker Michael Phelps getting his dicked sucked by the entire world because he can swim faster than anyone.  Good job Phelps your the fastest man in the water, which last I checked is a completely useless skill.  Maybe someday elections will be determined by who can swim the fastest.  Who knows.

And another thing, who the hell chose that smoggy ass Beijing as the place to do this?  Is dirt farming and propaganda an Olympic event too?  It must be because China kicked our asses and took home more Gold Metals than us.  Normally I’d give a shit, but then I realized that in most Chinese villages you’re lucky if the government allows you to wipe your ass without utilizing both sides of the turlet paper.  So they can have their trinkets, so long as I get to keep stuffing my fat ass American face with whatever the fuck I please.

Sayonara Olympics, you will not be missed.

Mike James

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Published in: on August 25, 2008 at 2:18 pm  Leave a Comment  
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