Hey Levi, Button Your Fly.

The Big Winner

Well now we know who Bristol Palin’s baby’s father is. Just a self proclaimed 18 year old “Fuckin’ Redneck” named Levi Johnston. Cool bro! This statement of course presupposes he has an option with the whole being a redneck thing, living in the most isolated state in the Union and all. Hawaii doesn’t count because they have roughly 12 hours of light and less than 98% of the population are old dudes. Levi seems like a regular highschool kid. So kudos to Bristol for that. At least she didn’t get knocked up by some weird Alaskan salmon farmer with a wife and a log cabin full of kids. Plus there’s never really been a better time to be pregnant. Everyone loves pregnant chicks these days. I don’t personally give a shit one way or the other, but from Britney Spears’ skanky sister to Angelina Jolie’s revolving door of a vagina, America can’t seem to get enough of that baby parade.

So Levi, from one dude to another – nice work. 2 weeks ago I could have gotten the governor of Alaska’s daughter pregnant and no one would have cared. Especially her mom. Now the best damn tabloid in the world, the New York Daily News is reporting on this poor schmuck’s MySpace page. I know they have condoms in Alaska bro. You might not have outdoor plumbing or movie theaters – but you definitely have condoms. Maybe next time!

– Steve Indonesia

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Published in: on September 2, 2008 at 10:14 am  Leave a Comment  
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