Inside the Psyche of the College Freshman

All over our glorious nation this week millions of young adults embarked on new college careers and flooded libraries, dining halls, and bars in large droves…

Obviously it wasn’t just college that resumed…but if I said crass and twisted shit about 9th graders….you guys might not take it so well…

With that said, lets take a closer look at one of their first classes and see if we can make any observations…

What you will immediately notice if you take a closer look at this picture is that there isn’t one student in here who is fully giving this poor schlub of a professor their entire undivided attention…

Some of this now assumed ordinary display of attention deficiency can be traced to the fact that probably 2/3 of these kids are on some sort of upper or downer or combination of both designed to keep their borderline retarded ass in a classroom for 2 hours, but hasn’t quite worked out because they have either swallowed or snorted half the bottle with or without their new found friends or roommates…

The other thing you may notice upon first glance is the girl directly in front of us with the white tank top could be masturbating…

I am not sure if this is some sort of a new trend amongst students and really that’s a whole different kind of post…so I wont elaborate…but definitely something noteworthy…

The next thing you may notice is there are about 4 or 5 dudes in a sea of women. I don’t care if these girls are middle of the road 6’s or knockout 9.5’s and 10’s, those odds are always favorable as a dude in a freshmen class. The problem is most of these gentlemen are suffering from a case of what i like to call being overwhelmed by the pussy.

These lucky sons of bitches haven’t let it sink in just yet that yes, they are out numbered by their female counterparts at an overwhelming rate of damn near 4-1. Come on fellas this is probably Art History 101 or Intro to Calculus, fuck taking notes!!! Now is your time to throw on that Axe, make eye contact, play footsies, and conquer the pussy!!! Get in there man. This is college now little fella and no one is going to hold your hand and make sure your balls get serviced on the regular…

We here at And This Is My America? may have to design a few orientation seminars to coach these young men in things like The Art Of Courting That Special Classmate Without Seeming Extra Thirsty In Front Of Other Classmates and other equally important, often deprived ares of concern.

In true equal opportunity fashion, we will be sure to host seminars for the female freshmen as well in areas like, How To Be Aware Of That Potential Stalker as well as a possible dual gender favorite How To Detect That First STD Without Sharing It With The Whole Dorm.

We will keep an eye on our buddies in college and offer any guidance that seems fit. Good Luck Class Of 2012!!!!



Published in: on September 6, 2008 at 6:46 pm  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. This article isn’t very good. I’m not sure if you’re trying to be funny. I’m not sure you’re sure what you’re trying to do. It’s like you want people to like you, so you just got a random picture and tried to make pithy comments about it.

    • So you think we want ppl to like us, so we blog to accomplish that? Your an idiot. And clearly one that doesnt get any pussy if you have that much time on your hands to comment on things you DONT like. Your not sure that I’m sure I know what I’m doing? Who gives a fuck what you are sure about???
      Eat a dick loser boy

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