If Your Last Name is “Spears” You’re a Lawyer’s Wet Dream

Well in what can only be described as utterly shocking news Jamie Lynn Spears and her meat puppet, Casey Aldridge, aren’t in love after all.  I for one can’t understand it, I mean look at this face?  Who wouldn’t love this man?

Zippy Aldridge

 

I mean he’s rich…… wait I forgot he don’t got shit!  But wait Mikey (referring to myself in the third person) at least he’s talented right?…… Guess again this dweeb doesn’t do shit but ejaculate into the slot machines that pay off Jackpots every time!  Oh and he’s a statutory raper!  I knew there was something appealing about this kid, he fucks under-aged girls and instead of a fucking jail sentence like me or you would get, this kid is getting paid.

Currently half the whore Britney is

I’m sure there’s gonna be a custody battle and all kinds of bullshit orbiting around these two ass clowns for the next several months.  Afterwards Jamie will probably write some horseshit book about how hard it is being a single mother with only $45,000,000 in the bank.  It seems like the only winners here are the lawyers, being a lawyer and having a female Spears as a client is like being Leo DiCaprio at a Hawaiian Tropics photo shoot.

Oh and by the way this is what they’re fighting over, it’s a baby but it might as well be a living breathing dollar sign.

$$$

– Mike James