I just saw my first Christmas related commercial of the year. I mean damn, it’s only October 2nd!; And already the holiday flood seems to be upon us. Now it’s no secret that I love Christmas, and will have no problem kicking the balls off anyone who says otherwise, but this fiestive jubilation is too early even for me.
It’s Halloween time people. It’s time to hose everything in sight with shaving cream, and throw eggs, and spray paint stray dogs, and break windows, and blow up mailboxes! It’s time to pull out that mental list of all the things you’ve been dreaming of vandalizing all year long. Remember that neighbor who yelled at you for leaving cigarette butts on his lawn? Well it’s time for some sweet revenge, finally. Let’s see how boisterous he is while he’s cleaning dried dog shit off the door handles of his $75,000 dollar Benzino.
GOD I miss being young.
– Mike James
* And for no apparent reason here’s a fat man shooting an automatic handgun.
Goddamn this jiggly baystid is fat.
And This Is My America? 
I saw Christmas stuff in a store the other day! I’m not ready for it. It’s still in the low 70’s, high 60’s. If people are gonna cram Christmas down your throat this early you’re just gonna be sick of it by December.
mister james – i’ve been reading your blog and no matter what you write, i don’t like it. too early for christmas??? you’re godless.
godless, i say!
do you know, i signed up for an account on this godforsaken website just so i could give you a piece of my mind, but here it is, 8:33 and i’m already too drunk to type really good. i’ve made more mistakes in typing this post than you could imagine. you’d not even have been able to have read it if i left them all. thankfully, my computer tells me when i made a mistake.
in the future when i am less drunk, there will be words. prepare.
I’ll be waiting patiently for that day! In the meantime don’t forget to lift the lid before you vomit.