This One Is For The Fellas – How To Take Advantage Of A Weekend When Your Girlfriend/Wife Is Away…


Some of you out there in viewerland may not live with your girlfriend or wife…

But i’ll fill you in the best I can…shit changes…quickly…

All of a sudden, you need to take advantage of the occasional weekend she goes to visit her parents or goes on a trip with her girlfriends…

And i’ve just developed the perfect guide to help you thru…



Grocery Store Pick-Up – With the misses gone, unless your Emeril, for some of my fellow brothers this definetly could be a blow to your caloric intake for the weekend. I would hate to see you guys go anorexic for a weekend, so as soon as you get out of work that Friday you need to hit up the grocery store for some essentials. Or, if you thought ahead, have her cook some shit and leave it for you for the weekend. But you don’t want her taking care of everything like shes some surrogate mother because this could lead to maternal-esque nagging down the line, so choose your battles fellas, choose your battles…


Beer/Pot/Liquor – Speaks for it self…Just make sure you’ve got enough for Friday – Sunday!!!


Think Ahead…Porn-wise! – You have just been thrown in the trenches to fend for yourself, just you and your penis. So this is when you take it back to high school (or to Wednesday morning in the shower…give or take a few years) and break out the Lubriderm. With the recent invention of the internet (relatively speaking, we cannot forget all the husbands out there who may be reading this and are not as familiar with Bangbros and Brazzers as some of our younger viewers) for the mere price of your internet connection you can enjoy an endless stream of the raunchiest, nastiest adult entertainment that makes even me cringe. I mean just google free porn…literally…


Invite The Buddies Over For Some Good Ol’ Fashioned Male Bonding – Sports, Chick Rating, Competitve burping – whatever it is – now is the time to let it all hang out!!! You can even pool all your money together and hire a few strippers to further enhance the entertainment. Who knows, im sure escort services have recession specials just like any other business right now!!!


# 1

Plan a good 45 min to an hour of clean up time between the moment the last guest leaves and when the old lady returns – This is the most important tip. Simply because you dont wanna hear any bullshit about how “I’m not your mother” and “I’m not cleaning up after you” when Monday Night Football is on…

Instead, you want to ensure that you can get some “I missed you all weekend” pussy during halftime!!!!





Published in: on November 14, 2008 at 12:59 pm  Comments (9)  
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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Get nutz and break shit, just make sure you don’t end up in jail or kill yourself or someone else and don’t break stuff that keeps the snow out in the winter?

  2. Dude, it’s gotten to the point where I look forward to masterbating to porn! I’m all for having dirty sex, but there’s nothing like running to the computer during a commerical break and busting a nut. 4 minutes later you’re back watching the game, satisfied, and you didn’t miss shit. You just can’t do that when there’s a woman involved. Unless of course she blows you while you watch the game but that shit is the stuff of myth.

  3. I have been blown while watching sports AND while playing video games…

    Ahhh to be young again!!!!

  4. You forgot the most important thing – Make sure she takes the kids with her or arrange a trip for them to Grandma’s house. Otherwise, everything’s off…

  5. I told you shit like that happens if you don’t wear a raincoat???

  6. Thelogicalsmoker said: “I have been blown while watching sports AND while playing video games…”

    What you did with your buds while the woman was away ain’t our bidniz…

  7. HA with my buds???

    If you want to include your girlfriend or mom as one of my “buds”, by all means go ahead…

  8. Sage advice, D.

    I like to use this kind of free time to do stuff that I don’t usually get to do when the girlfriend is around. But you gots to be careful not to have one of her friends see you out tomcattin’


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