AndThisIsMyAmerica? Due To Lay Off 60,000 Employees

The door's that way

The door

Sorry guys, with the economy being what it is, we’ve really got no choice.  There’s simply not enough capital for me and Devonte to run this site, pay our hookers, and employ the other 58,998 of you.  But we wanted you to know that you’re all very talented people and we’re confident every single one of you will land on your feet.

layoff1

This was by no means an easy decision, but just couldn’t live with myself if I comprised and downgraded my retirement plan from a golden parachute to less popular bronze parachute which was originally offered to me.  I think it’s going to work out much better this way.

– Mike James

Post Script:  We’re not the only ones doing it so quit your blubbering!  http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/11/17/BURD146AIA.DTL

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Published in: on November 18, 2008 at 3:49 pm  Comments (3)  
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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. where do i go if i want a hand out??
    where is my bail out plan?

    i guess i’ll just go hijack a supertanker.

  2. A hand out???

    Bail out???

    Sorry sister, I just got off the phone with a bunch of investors who wanted to buy stake in the company…

    Turns out they WANTED to invest…as in past tense…

    Shit has oficially hit that fan…

    So in an effort to restore order and make some money…

    We are going to be focusing 2009 on inventing a new condom!!!!

    Thats right it will be TWICE as thin as standard condoms…

    And ONLY 25% less effective…

    You giveth and you taketh right?

  3. That’s just what we all need. Some babies to turn this economy around. I say we start from scratch and build ourselves an army. In 18 years we’ll be the most powerful force on the planet.


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