Eye On The Prize Bitches!!!
Ok, there’s not a lot of world records that I think I can obtain
But when the record is for consecutive hours of watching television, call me a hater, but I instantly think I can compete
Allow me to introduce you to Suresh Joachim
This Sri Lankan gentleman currently holds the world record for consecutive television watching at, what I believe is, a very paltry 72 hours
I don’t mean to undermine Mr. Joachim’s accomplishment, but I just feel like I already won this record in college 7 years ago!!!
3 days?
Are you kidding me?
That shit is a cakewalk
So here’s what I’m gonna do
Beat the record on paper fair and square…
72 hours?
I think we here at And This Is My America can easily clock roughly 96 hours of consecutive television watching given the proper resources
See he went the “3 seasons of 24” route
I would definitely fall asleep watching 3 days worth of 24
I’m an 80’s baby so we’re gonna need a variety of quality television if we are going to truly claim this title…none of this no frills, fly by night crap…
For starters, The Cosby Show!
Always Had A Thing For Vanessa, Must Have Been Them Goodwill Clothes And That "I Smoke Weed To Rebel Against My Doctor Daddy" Attitude...
I can easily watch a good 12 hours of The Cosby Show before even starting to get bored!!!
Throw in about 6 cases of Red Bull, a boatload of the stuff that got Michael Phelps in trouble, some trail mix and other naturally energetic foods, a Slurpee machine, the finest love seats we can afford, and of course the most comfortable outfits we can find…
At this point ladies and gentleman, Team And This Is My America is ready for the long haul…
They Dont Make 'Em Like They Used To...
We can surely fire up a few episodes of Perfect Strangers and cool out with Balki and his stories from Mypos for an afternoon
But here’s the thing
I know at some point I am going to get cranky…super cranky…
This is when we counter attack and feed the crankiness till I snap out of it…throw the baby a motherfuckin’ nipple!
I Don't Even Have Anything To Write In The Box, I Think The Corny Cheerleader-esque Pose By The 90210 Cast Is More Than Enough...
A few power hours of back to back Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose Place should do it…
Let the crew sit back and engage in the ultimate hatefest…picking that shit apart like a girl’s blind date horror story to her best friend
When that gets old (after about 18, 19 minutes) we move on to about 16 and a half hours of The Honeymooners…
What Would New Years Day Be Without 'Em?
Next up, MacGyver…that guy can have you on the edge of your seat for at least 6-8 hours…
No Question This Man Is Badass - Notice Richard Dean Anderson's Striking Resemblance To Sting? Ahh Bet You Didn't Notice That When You Were 7 Now Did Ya?
Sorta like any number of Steven Segal movies (when marijuana is readily and easily accessible), oh so bad its good
By that time, the testosterone will be flowing
Too Hot For TGIF...
Time to smooth it out with Topanga from Boy Meets World and Six from Blossom…
I Never Got Why Six Wasn't The Star, Besides The Cool Name, Why Give The Headline To The Chick With The "Mr. Ripley's Believe It Or Not" Nose???
Two of the roundest booties in sitcom history!
If you don’t believe me, YouTube it brother…
And there’s no doubt who the last stretch of this marathon belongs to…
…none other than the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air!
Hands Down, MVP Of The Show Goes To Geoffrey The Butler!
So please, get yours check books and near maxed out credit cards ready
We will need funding to gather all the resources together, because we are winning this record!
Stay tuned guys, we are working with Don King to bring the whole performance to you live via Pay Per View!
And of course, the DVD and HBO: Making Of Special to follow…
Shameless people, shameless…
"I personally co-sign this project!" - Don "Fuck You, Pay Me" King
Logical
D.Smith
And This Is My America? 
Well played.