The 80% Rule – This May Save Your Life, As Well As Your Relationship…

At BEST 80%...

At BEST 80%...

I just had an interesting conversation with my girlfriend before she left for work.  For a while now, me and my super agent/lawyer Sean Warbucks have referred to something we like to call the 80% Rule.  You see the average person goes through life with false hope and unrealistic expectations.  I know I surely have been a victim of this at one point or another in my life.  But I truly believe that with a little patience and soul searching (and of course marijuana) the 80% Rule and the 1-3% rule (more on that later) have saved my life.

For starters, let me explain the 80% Rule.  According to the 80% Rule, no matter who that person is, their significant other, at best, will be able to satisfy them 80% of the time.

That’s it

Pretty simple rule right?

But let’s analyze just how much this can affect life on a day to day basis.  For instance, most single people have this view in their head that there is this perfect person out there specifically for them…

Not true

For the sake of this lesson, I am going to ask all the men and women out there to think of either their current significant other or their last significant other. Got it? Ok, lets go. Now that you have that person in your head think about all the things you love/loved about that person and all the things you hate/hated about that person. Got it? Ok, now I can guarantee you that at MOST the love/loved pile is 80% of the entire list.

Basically, the chance of a relationship actually working between two people hinges on how much you two motherfuckers are willing to give and take.  That’s the name of the game.  You giveth and you taketh. Give a lot, take a little…

Whats interesting is when I started to explain this theory to my girlfriend, her response was “Wow”.  But I think by the end of the discussion, she understood where I was coming from. I don’t look at this as a negative thing.  Just the opposite, being aware of this rule has allowed me to cut my losses and live my life the best I can.  Like when I get into an argument with my girl, a good 7 out of 10 times, I just back off and let her win.  Why?  Because most times when people argue, it is in vain.  You’re arguing for something that’s either trivial, not going to happen, or not going to change.  So why bother?

80% folks. By lowering the bar a mere 20%, my quality of life is just that much better. I think about the 18 year old Devonte. The one who really thought there was a woman out there who was going to do everything perfectly the way I envisioned it in my head. Couldn’t be further from the truth ladies and gentleman. And this is coming from a guy who has a great girl.  But it is this rule right here folks that has allowed me to fully maximize my appreciation for this woman, as well as the entire female species.

However, just because 80 is the max, doesn’t mean you’re going to get that shit.  So take this with a grain of salt and let’s not forget it is the 80% Rule not the 80% Guarantee. Because I know I have been in a few 65 and 72% relationships. Remember, 80%, at best

So I urge you guys out there to take note and start to think of just 80% of the enchilada, and not the whole thing. Because quite frankly, you’re not gonna fucking get it.

I am going to come back to this and expand on it, as well as the 1-3% Rule. If just one person out there can relate to this, I’ll know I have truly made a difference.



Published in: on March 5, 2009 at 10:55 am  Comments (12)  
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12 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. fuck you, shit sucks

    • Right back at you…you little dirty, STD infested, cocksucking motherfucker!!!

  2. That’s so fucking true it’s not even funny. I used to be stupid enough to think that I was always going to date UP! Like the more girlfriends I’ve had the hotter they would each get.

    Here’s the scale of “girl hottness” I expected:
    5th Grade: 6 (ok looking broad)
    10th Grade: 7 (a little better but nothing special)
    12th Grade: 8 (now we’re talking)
    College: 9 (all your friends want to fuck her)
    After College: 10 (you can’t believe you’re banging a bitch this hot)

    * I was actually stupid enough to think I was going to be nailing a 10 after college! I’ve never seen a 10 in my life!

    80% more like 50%

    – Mike James

  3. That was a poignant post. Great advice. You are like the fucking Ghandi of punnanny. Thanks bro.

  4. An even better rule is:

    Show me a beautiful woman and I’ll show you a man who’s tired of fucking her.

  5. […] The 80% Rule – This May Save Your Life, As Well As Your Relationship… I just had an interesting conversation with my girlfriend before she left for work.  For a while now, me and my super […] […]

  6. And while they are satisfying YOU only 80% of the time, tops, imagine how much of the time you are satisfying them. Hm.

    Insightful. Most people in the last 50 years or so no longer seem to recognize that partnerships are like this, give and take, be forgiving, don’t expect your partner to satisfy all your needs/desires/wants or fill the black void that is your personality deficit. I think most modern people could be satisfied only with a programmable robot. We are the most selfish generation(s) ever.

    On the bright side, I think civilization is about to change profoundly due to the economic collapse. So maybe we’ll learn to appreciate other people again for themselves and not just as accessories to ourselves, who knows?

    • well put.

      I thought I was the only person who noticed the dating “scene” of today is rampant with a bunch of sociopaths using other human beings as narcissistic supply.

  7. I think your rule is brilliant. I’m a happily married woman and I think this philosophy should actually be liberating not depressing. Sort of a love-the-one- you’re-with kind of thing. (i think 80% could be a bit high)

  8. I have a friend who annoys the hell out of me, because every time he gets into a new relationship (and this is quite often), he rants about how she’s “perfect for me, she’s just like me” but as it turns out, he always breaks it off as soon as he finds something imperfect about her. Your 80% rule has a lot of potential. I can see an entire organization being formed on this principle. Thanks for sharing!

  9. ya – it’s true. i’ve been with some hot chicks, but i always am looking for something better. i figure its get that decent chick who’s into you and get married and have kids and work to make it work without putting too much effort into ogling the next hot chick and wondering if she’s better. it’s a hamster wheel. so tuff tho – cause u always think that you may be “settling” – maybe you hafta some day. cause you could be with the hottest girl and 6 months later be tired of her.

  10. Makes sense “if” you think about it. Fabulous idea, will incorporate into my life as best I can. There are proven techniques to take the destructiveness out of your domestic quarrels. Those who can resolve their domestic quarrels fairly, grow closer together and those who can not, grow apart. The book is, “The Intimate Enemy,” How to Fight Fair in Love and Marriage, by Dr. George R. Bach. A classic in psychiatric liturature and huge best seller written for the layman. $5, used paperback from delivered to door. May your days be happier.

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