This Whole Rhianna/Chris Brown Situation Is Enough To Drive a Man Swayze!

You Shoulda Treated Me Right

That's The Way Love Is

And now Rhianna and Chris Brown join the illustious group.

Pon De Replay In Court

Piece and Chicken Grease

In reviewing some of our country’s previous “high profile” domestic violence cases of the past thirty or so years, I’ve discovered a shocking similarity.  Please take a moment and carefully inspect the images above.  What stands out?  What seems to be the common denominator in all of these pictures?  It’s not that hard, after all you’d have to be blind not to notice each one of these people share the same unmistakable trait.  Just look!  You can’t miss it, there’s no question about it, each and every person in these photographs is…………………………………………………………. A MUSICIAN!

Now, I’m not musician, I grew up on Long Island where, in certain areas, they are very distrustful of musicians.  I wasn’t even allowed to date a musician, to do so would have literally caused my Italian grandma to die of shock.  A musician once stole my Uncle Petey’s car as a matter of fact, but that’s neither here nor there.  The point is these musicians need to get their acts together!

Rhianna is an unbelievable ‘knock out’, no pun intended, and to lay a hand on that face is nothing short of a travesty.  Chris Brown on the other hand is a loser, and he’s ugly, and he’s a man.  To beat him bloody wouldn’t be any great loss to society.  I’ve heard rumors that Rhianna supposedly punched him a few times in anger, to that I say BIG FUCKING DEAL!  Rhianna could pummel me into the ground until I was dependent on a colostomy bag to catch the falling stool from my crippled body, I wouldn’t care!  So long as at the end of the day she sponges me off, sexes me up and poses for photographs so everyone knows what I got waiting at home.

Oh Rhianna when are you gonna learn?  Another musician isn’t the answer you seek, it’s ME, Mike James!

See, I Can Fit It!

– Mike James

On a side note: Megan Fox and What’s His Face from Domino are NOT musicians so they should be ok.  Horrible actors yes, musicians no.

9021-NOOOOOO!