Winners and Losers of Summer ’08

Well ladies and gents, another summer is in the books…

Goodbye flip flops and tank tops…

and hello NFL Football and the Christmas Season of 2008

Before we look to the future, lets take a few brief moment to reflect back to some of this past summers biggest winners and losers…for better or for worse…

The Dark Knight

Winner – If this movie wasn’t as good as it really is, it would go down as perhaps the most over hyped piece of shit ever…but with the performance of a lifetime from the late Heath Ledger, and an all around Gotham thrill ride that leaves you thirsty for the already talked about 3rd installment with Johnny Depp playing the Riddle…The Dark Knight truly manages to be the motherfucking shit…

The Instability in the Price of Gas

Loser – For those of us like myself in NYC, this may not have dampened the whole summer, but all across America, the rise in gas put everything from annual road trips to quick weekend getaways in jeopardy. That means kids and parents all over were stuck in the same house for the whole summer left to think of new, fun, and inventive ways to spice up the summer, ie. for most Americans meaning watching lots of television, eating, consuming drugs, masturbating, and surfing the internet…

The Olympics

Winner – Definitely a huge fucking spectacle,  but hey Americans loves a chance to swing their dicks for 2-3 weeks and win a bunch of medals in shit we will forget bout by fall!!! What can i say, humility isn’t found in the Bill of Rights!!! Go Swimming and basketball!!!!

The New York Yankees

Loser – With the biggest payroll in sports and a new stadium opening just next season, the underachieving divas of the sports world have ridden 3rd place for most of the summer…unless they turn it around asap AND win the World Series…essentially another failed season for the boys in pinstripes who set the bar at winning it all each year. But who gives a shit, the inevitable late season comeback ain’t happening this year and besides, the Mets are winning the World Series this year anyway, right?

Election 2008 –

Winner – Love Obama or Hate McCain, or vice versa, but one cannot deny the impact or relevance of this current election. With 2 months to go, expect big things to develop as the Republican regime will probably stoop to any level necessary to paint Obama and the Democratic Party as “arugula loving” softies who are trying to elect a terrorist.

John Edwards –

Loser – Lets just say thank heavens Obama wasnt thinking about tapping Edwards for the VP slot. Fuck Palin’s daughter and her inability to keep her legs closed, Edwards and the supposed love child would have trumped everything!!! This man has managed to pull a one up on Eliot Spitzer cause I think most people could see Spitzer having the potential to be a scumbag…I mean he looooks sleezy…but John Edwards…whew…from choir boy to dog of the week in a heartbeat, Edwards’ stock has fallen faster than that of Wu-Tang or Britney Spears…good luck finding a new gig on craigslist buddy!!!



Thank Heavenly God the Olympics Are Dead


Monkey Man Douche

Monkey Man Douche




Well the Olympics are finally over and I for one am over-fucking-joyed.  If I had to listen to one more news cast about perseverance, overcoming obstacles and team work I would have blown my stack.

Why isn’t there an intelligence Olympics?  The Olympics are an affront to everyone with an IQ of 100 or higher.  Imagine you spend your days researching cures for cancer, then you turn on the tv and see that monkey faced motherfucker Michael Phelps getting his dicked sucked by the entire world because he can swim faster than anyone.  Good job Phelps your the fastest man in the water, which last I checked is a completely useless skill.  Maybe someday elections will be determined by who can swim the fastest.  Who knows.

And another thing, who the hell chose that smoggy ass Beijing as the place to do this?  Is dirt farming and propaganda an Olympic event too?  It must be because China kicked our asses and took home more Gold Metals than us.  Normally I’d give a shit, but then I realized that in most Chinese villages you’re lucky if the government allows you to wipe your ass without utilizing both sides of the turlet paper.  So they can have their trinkets, so long as I get to keep stuffing my fat ass American face with whatever the fuck I please.

Sayonara Olympics, you will not be missed.

Mike James

Published in: on August 25, 2008 at 2:18 pm  Leave a Comment  

An Ode to Team USA Softball…

I tried to stay away from discussing the Olympics, as everyone has something to say about them, but this caught my attention..

Is it just me or does this situation seem like a form of institutional player hating??

So what if these women have dominated every Olympic performance they have been a part of?

Is that not the point?

I thought everyone was allowed to play, I saw Cool Runnings!!!!

Thats like removing figure skating or some of those gymnastic floor exercises because Slavic nations tend to dominate those.

Or, deleting the 100 and 200m track and field events because Jamaicans are out there running like the kid from the Incredibles!!!

Look, the reality of world sports is, certain regions dominate certain sports.

Thats a given.

So with baseball being a prominent figure in American culture, why wouldn’t these women rule at softball which is essentially a derivative of baseball.

I mean I understand people are saying there is a lack of competition but that sure wasn’t the case on Thursday when Japan took gold for the first time in softball.

And besides that, shouldn’t the International Olympic Committee have looked for a way to help further develop the programs in countries that are in fact good and have been able to compete but not take gold like Canada, Australia, and Japan until this week?

Like i get it, the world hates America but god damn, we cant play softball because of it?

Times are fucking rough my friends…



Published in: on August 23, 2008 at 5:36 pm  Comments (1)  
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