I just saw my first Christmas related commercial of the year. I mean damn, it’s only October 2nd!; And already the holiday flood seems to be upon us. Now it’s no secret that I love Christmas, and will have no problem kicking the balls off anyone who says otherwise, but this fiestive jubilation is too early even for me.
It’s Halloween time people. It’s time to hose everything in sight with shaving cream, and throw eggs, and spray paint stray dogs, and break windows, and blow up mailboxes! It’s time to pull out that mental list of all the things you’ve been dreaming of vandalizing all year long. Remember that neighbor who yelled at you for leaving cigarette butts on his lawn? Well it’s time for some sweet revenge, finally. Let’s see how boisterous he is while he’s cleaning dried dog shit off the door handles of his $75,000 dollar Benzino.
GOD I miss being young.
– Mike James
* And for no apparent reason here’s a fat man shooting an automatic handgun.
Goddamn this jiggly baystid is fat.
And This Is My America? 