Now It’s Personal…You Skipskap Scallywags!!!

 

 

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D94QN0200&show_article=1&catnum=0

 

The typical American that I am…

It’s allll fun and games when European and Scandanavian ships were getting hijacked by our once upon a time pirate friends from Somalia – but now?

Its personal…

I almost feel betrayed

I really felt like we were growing together – learning from one anothers way of life if you will

We shared art…culture…violence…

And this is how you motherfuckers repay me?

Firing eight shots at an American cruise ship!!!

There goes Black Sparrow you ungrateful sons of bitches…

I assure you this will be a messy divorce

How could it not be? I trusted these men and just like that it’s gone…

They are lucky it was just random shots into the night

Cause America isn’t going to play that hijack game – uh uh – not for one second

Try it…I bet you with the blink of an eye me and John McCain appear like Batman and Robin and show em whose really boss…

Yep

You guessed it…that move is going to be called Country First

 

Logical

D.Smith

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Make It Rain On Em!!! – Somali Pirates Bank $150M In The Past Year…

 

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D94JBV5G1&show_article=1&catnum=0

 Wow

Truly a stunning figure.

$150M in ransom money in the past year alone.

Whats interesting is up until the summer I didnt even know there was such a thing as a black pirate (I’m black so yes I’m allowed to say that shit) let alont a black Somali pirate!!!

Shit was news to me.

Initially when I read the above article I thought, “That’s it we are definitely making this movie and we are going to call that shit Black Sparrow…”

Then I thought, “Wait, hold up a minute, did that figure just say $150M????”

Like god damn, can you take a brother to the strip club?

Shit

I’m over here scouting out recession specials for happy hour later and these motherfuckers are sitting on $150M like they just signed a contract with the Yankees and shit…

Well i’ll tell you one thing, when we start shooting Black Sparrow, they are paying for ALLLL expenses!!!

 

P.S. Mike, I know your sick of this pirate shit, but a) its our future meal ticket and b) it was between this and Senator Mukasey collapsing yesterday and I dont know I thought anything I could possibly say about that would just leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth…

Logical

D.Smith

Published in: on November 21, 2008 at 12:09 pm  Comments (5)  
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Determination Of A Pirate – How A Band Of Somali Pirates Hijacked A Supertanker…

 

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/11/18/kenya.tanker.pirates/index.html

“It was attacked more than 450 nautical offshore of Mombasa. This means that the pirates are now operating in an area of over 1.1 million square miles. This is a measure of the determination of the pirates and … a measure of how lucrative piracy could become,” Campbell said.

I wont lie…

Before writing this piece, I had no fucking idea what a supertanker was…

I hear supertanker and I think “Yea that sounds like the type of place John McCain hangs out at!”

Where you going

Going down to the supertanker to think some shit through and oil my gun…”

Perhaps I’m exaggerating a bit

But the point is…I would think it would take a lot to steal just any ol’ tank…but a super one???

That just takes balls.

I wouldn’t try to hijack anything super.

Supercomputer, Supermodel, Super Bowl!!!!

Anyway you slice it, that prefix adds a level of fear…

Like “Ooooh…super!!!”

With that said, at this point these Somalian bastards are bona-fide living legends…

They can all die tommorow and they would be penciled in right next to Dylan Klebold and Timothy McVeigh in the unstated Top Ten Motherfuckers That Went Ape Shit list (Mikey…get on it)…

They deserve more than just one flimsy movie.

This is the stuff HBO mini-series’ are made of.

Think about it, what would you rather watch, Big Love, the story of a Mormon dude fucking multiple mediocre broads…

ORRRRR our badass, action packed Somali Pirate mini-series where you got hostages, explosions, people getting killed execution style, and much much more!!!

All you HBO/Showtime execs out there contact us…

Lets start a bidding war baby!!!!

 

Logical

D.Smith

Not Even Getting Hosed Down Can Stop A Band Of Somalian Pirates…

 

http://africa.reuters.com/top/news/usnJOE49T0HZ.html 

I guess the party truly doesn’t stop for a Somalian Pirate…

Weeks ago, I would have told you they don’t even exist…

But now? I’m ready to give the 2008 Bad Motherfucker Award to these guys!!!

Yesterday…these Somali pirates got hosed down in an attempt to hijack 5 other ships

But the Turkish fleet, MV Yasa Neslihan, wasnt as successful and now they are under siege…

(Oooh, maybe our movie can be called Further Under Siege…original…I know)

As of now, there are no further details…

There has been no contact with the ship for the last 24 hours…

Which can only mean the worst for these poor Turkish bastards…

I’m really about ready to call Quentin Tarantino and let him know Mike James and I are sitting on a script of gold about these Pirates before someone beats us to the punch…

Our writing…Quentin’s blaxploitation-esque style…this shit could be a classic!!!

 

Logical

D.Smith

Published in: on October 30, 2008 at 11:27 am  Comments (4)  
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And I Thought Things On The MV-Faina Were Rough…

Making arrows and "preparing" axes huh???

Making arrows and "preparing" axes huh???

“Today, Dongria Kondh from all over Niyamgiri, the hill range that would be decimated by Vedanta’s mine, are making arrows and preparing their axes to stop Vedanta from reaching their sacred mountain. One Dongria man said today ‘Now our people are very angry. We have to show the Dongria Kondh power to Vedanta.”

http://intercontinentalcry.org/tribe-vows-to-fight-mine-with-axes-and-arrows/

This is the type of stuff I just love to read about…

Not because I am some violent anarchist…but because this story…like the MV-Faina Somalian Pirate mishap…is unexpected…an underdog story if you will…

Here we have a an obscure Indian tribe, Dondria Kondh, who has challenged Vedanta, a British mining company to an “axe and arrow” fight if they pose threat to their sacred mountain by mining for aluminum…

I support these guys…get the fuck off that mountain you greedy heathens!!! This is sacred!!!

I mean if they are saying its sacred…(and they have bows and arrows and shit)…why not just let them keep it??

I wouldn’t fuck with them…

For two reasons…

1) This “mountain” seems pretty deserted…I mean try to look behind those motherfuckers in the picture…if things did go sour? Vedanta can kiss their tea and biscuits goodbye…these guys look willing and able to bury that whole mining company if shit gets ugly…

2) Anytime a woman is at the forefront of a pack of angry rebels in the picture…I wouldn’t trust it…there’s just no telling what type of ruthless, vigilante-esque shit she did to earn their respect as “leader in the picture”…

This story isn’t getting a lot of attention in the national media but I will try to keep you guys updated as things develop…

Till then…I ask…

Who would win in a steel cage match…the Somalian Pirates or Dondria Kongh Rebels???

I got my money on the Pirates…

Bows and arrows seem real fucking primitive in 2008…but then again they would probably tear my ass up with one of those axes in a heartbeat so what do I know…

Logical

D.Smith

Published in: on October 14, 2008 at 10:18 am  Leave a Comment  
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These Guys Aren’t Going Down Without A Fight…

http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2008/10/07/africa/AF-Somalia-Piracy.php

The Faina’s hijacking, the most high-profile off Somalia this year, illustrates the ability of a handful of pirates from a failed state to menace a key international shipping lane despite the deployment of warships by global powers. More than two dozen ships have been hijacked off Somalia’s coast this year.

Wow…

The scary thing at this point is…I think the Somalian’s may win…

It was one thing to hear this story first break and start to develop a screenplay based on it…

I mean it started off real juicy and gripping…like we were for sure this was a 2 day affair at best….

But now I’m like…shit…I’m not trying to make a movie about these motherfuckers!!!

Have this scary motherfucker show up at my doorstep with that gun…whew…talk about a bad day…I’d shit myself right on the spot…true story…

I don’t know…they say John McCain (who got caught) is a war hero

No…

This motherfucker above and his friends are war heros

Read the accompanying article if you think its a game…

I just dont know why we don’t hire these mavericks to go to Iraq and handle business for us!!!!

Shit if all they want is $20 million…thats a steal compared to the 100 billion a month Dubya’s got us spending… 

I’ll keep you guys posted on our Somalian buddies as more news becomes available…

Logical

D.Smith

Published in: on October 7, 2008 at 12:13 pm  Comments (1)  
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Somalian Pirates Huh?

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/10/01/Russia.Somalipirates/index.html

Me and Mike James are frantically working with directors and producers trying to start a bidding war before the script is done on this over the top story….

Somalian Pirates take over a Ukrainian cargo ship and hold it ransom for $20 million dollars???

I couldn’t think of an easier way to make a few million bucks on a shitty Michael Bay summer flick…

We are looking at Russell Crowe and the new dude who plays Bond to be the Ukrainian sailors who get fucked up by the Somalians…

And of course Djimon Hounsou is the leader of the Somalian pirates…

I mean look at him…

Grrrrr Scurvyyyyyy....

Grrrrr Scurvyyyyyy....

My man is about to be the black Johnny Depp…

We’ll keep it at a PG-13 rating and franchise this bitch…

Lunch boxes…T-Shirts…A ride at Six Flags!!!!

Time will only tell just how much the public embraces the epic tale of Somalian Pirates…

Production starts as soon as we find out who wins…

But I got my money on the Somalians at this point…

Stay tuned for the trailer my friends…

Logical

D.Smith

Published in: on October 1, 2008 at 10:32 pm  Comments (2)  
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