Turns Out Gas Prices Aren’t A Killer…


This is startling news ladies and gentleman…

Yes, its true.

The recent surge in gas prices has in fact lead to record lows in the traffic death toll.

In fact, the lowest levels since JFK was elected to office…

Now for the reality of this study.

This does not mean that for the brief period that gas prices rose each day like an ebay auction that the citizens of this god forsaken country decided to be that much more moral.

This does not mean that while we have managed to drive billions of fewer miles per month, as indicated this past June, that there have been billions of fewer deaths nationwide.

And this certainly doesn’t mean that given the choice, people would rather have fewer deaths instead of cheaper gas.

However, what this does mean is that since the recent rise in gas prices, millions of Americans have found new and innovative ways to kill ourselves and each other at home, and in our immediate neighborhoods for a much lower cost…

Leave it to Americans to adapt new, economical ways to kill mankind….



Published in: on August 26, 2008 at 12:03 am  Comments (2)  
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