Winners and Losers of Summer ’08

Well ladies and gents, another summer is in the books…

Goodbye flip flops and tank tops…

and hello NFL Football and the Christmas Season of 2008

Before we look to the future, lets take a few brief moment to reflect back to some of this past summers biggest winners and losers…for better or for worse…

The Dark Knight

Winner – If this movie wasn’t as good as it really is, it would go down as perhaps the most over hyped piece of shit ever…but with the performance of a lifetime from the late Heath Ledger, and an all around Gotham thrill ride that leaves you thirsty for the already talked about 3rd installment with Johnny Depp playing the Riddle…The Dark Knight truly manages to be the motherfucking shit…

The Instability in the Price of Gas

Loser – For those of us like myself in NYC, this may not have dampened the whole summer, but all across America, the rise in gas put everything from annual road trips to quick weekend getaways in jeopardy. That means kids and parents all over were stuck in the same house for the whole summer left to think of new, fun, and inventive ways to spice up the summer, ie. for most Americans meaning watching lots of television, eating, consuming drugs, masturbating, and surfing the internet…

The Olympics

Winner – Definitely a huge fucking spectacle,  but hey Americans loves a chance to swing their dicks for 2-3 weeks and win a bunch of medals in shit we will forget bout by fall!!! What can i say, humility isn’t found in the Bill of Rights!!! Go Swimming and basketball!!!!

The New York Yankees

Loser – With the biggest payroll in sports and a new stadium opening just next season, the underachieving divas of the sports world have ridden 3rd place for most of the summer…unless they turn it around asap AND win the World Series…essentially another failed season for the boys in pinstripes who set the bar at winning it all each year. But who gives a shit, the inevitable late season comeback ain’t happening this year and besides, the Mets are winning the World Series this year anyway, right?

Election 2008 –

Winner – Love Obama or Hate McCain, or vice versa, but one cannot deny the impact or relevance of this current election. With 2 months to go, expect big things to develop as the Republican regime will probably stoop to any level necessary to paint Obama and the Democratic Party as “arugula loving” softies who are trying to elect a terrorist.

John Edwards –

Loser – Lets just say thank heavens Obama wasnt thinking about tapping Edwards for the VP slot. Fuck Palin’s daughter and her inability to keep her legs closed, Edwards and the supposed love child would have trumped everything!!! This man has managed to pull a one up on Eliot Spitzer cause I think most people could see Spitzer having the potential to be a scumbag…I mean he looooks sleezy…but John Edwards…whew…from choir boy to dog of the week in a heartbeat, Edwards’ stock has fallen faster than that of Wu-Tang or Britney Spears…good luck finding a new gig on craigslist buddy!!!

Logical

D.Smith

Turns Out Gas Prices Aren’t A Killer…

http://www.usatoday.com/money/autos/2008-08-25-gas_N.htm

This is startling news ladies and gentleman…

Yes, its true.

The recent surge in gas prices has in fact lead to record lows in the traffic death toll.

In fact, the lowest levels since JFK was elected to office…

Now for the reality of this study.

This does not mean that for the brief period that gas prices rose each day like an ebay auction that the citizens of this god forsaken country decided to be that much more moral.

This does not mean that while we have managed to drive billions of fewer miles per month, as indicated this past June, that there have been billions of fewer deaths nationwide.

And this certainly doesn’t mean that given the choice, people would rather have fewer deaths instead of cheaper gas.

However, what this does mean is that since the recent rise in gas prices, millions of Americans have found new and innovative ways to kill ourselves and each other at home, and in our immediate neighborhoods for a much lower cost…

Leave it to Americans to adapt new, economical ways to kill mankind….

Logical

D.Smith