The O’Neal’s Are Batting a Thousand

Tatum & Ryan O'Neal

Believe it or not these two are actually father and daughter, to me it looks like they could be married (feel free to read all about them here).  To say that Hollywood has officially twisted the O’Neal family into a meth-induced pretzel is an understatement.  In his hayday Ryan O’Neal was working for the likes of Stanley Kubrick, but lately his career has taken a major turn for the worse.

Tatum O’Neal hasn’t been doing much better.  Oh how far my sweet Tatum has fallen since the grand old days of Paper Moon, The Bad News Bears and more recently Rescue Me.  I’m here to tell you Tatum that you’ll always be hot to me.  No matter how strung out you get I’ll be here for you.  Reminding the people with short memories that your old man was The Driver.  And you don’t fuck with The Driver (no matter how much it sounds like a movie about golf).

But my patience does have limits, so get your act together baby!  Please don’t go throwing stones at your half brother and father of the year for doing the very shit that you yourself JUST got busted for. 

Ryan & Redmond

Let’s all point the finger where it really belongs, squarely on Farah Fawcett.

– Mike James